When I was in high school I defined myself by the friendships that I had and what boys liked me. If guys didn’t like me I wondered why and even thought less of myself because of it. I wished I was like other girls and more outgoing like all the other kids my age. The problem here is that I found my identity in everything but Christ.
I went throughout high school calling myself a Christian but not actually living a Christian lifestyle at all. I was doing things that I wasn’t supposed to be doing and going places that I shouldn’t have been going all because I wanted to feel loved and accepted.
Here’s the the thing, I don’t want it to come across as though my high school experience was all bad because it wasn’t. I had some really great friends at the time (some who are still around and some who aren’t). However, that didn’t keep me from feeling lonely. You see, along with the good company, those friends also brought bad influences of which I freely indulged in and led to feelings of loneliness. The more I thought I was doing things to become accepted, the more lonely I became.
In my sophomore year of high school I really hit rock bottom when I got into a relationship with a boy at school. Of course, the relationship did not last and ended in absolute heartbreak for me. I almost went crazy and my high school friends can testify to that.
It wasn’t until the beginning of my senior year that I began to find my way back to Christ. The boyfriend who had broken my heart had graduated and a few of the friends who I was so easily influenced by had transferred to different schools.
(Just a Quick Note: I am not blaming anyone for the way I acted in high school or saying that these friends of mine were necessarily bad people. I’m just explaining the effects that these people had on me as a person who was claiming to be a Christian). I decided to take this time to really evaluate my walkwith Christ and began to find my identity in him once again.
If it wasn’t for the experiences that I had in high school, I’m not too sure that I’d be the same person that I am today. Of course I still have so much more to work on but over the years I have grown to love the LORD more and find my identity IN HIM more and more each and every day. I wouldn’t want to go through those experiences again but I am so grateful that they happened because I have grown as a Christian because of them.